I Need To Get Out Of Here!!!

Guys...I was sitting in the taxi today, looking out the window, and I thought I saw a semi-attractive gentleman. Oh my gosh, I've been here so long that the locals are starting to get attractive to me! I really need to get out of here! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm only kidding.

Not a lot has gone on because my mom has been making me visit all these relatives since we now have the "time to" since Tim left. Speaking of Tim...it's been pretty lonely since he left. I feel like I can't converse with anyone here with ease anymore. Yes, I know Vietnamese but I struggle with my vocabulary here. My mom is also driving me up the wall. Just like I suspected...she wakes me up super early with her clanging and banging on all the walls, cabinets, tables, etc. to get ready for the day. She also gets easily embarrassed over here. I guess it's because these are her "people". But I have to keep my joking in public down to a very bare minimum. For instance...the people were measuring my mom for fabric and pressing the fabric against her body. They then gave her a price and she asked, "Why is it so expensive." So I said, "Well, if you had flatter boobs...you'd use less fabric and it'd be cheaper." And she yelled at me for that. I thought it was freaking hilarious but she said that people over here don't play about stuff like that.

Okay, a couple of you guys have been telling me that you guys plan to visit Vietnam sometime in the near future. I want you all to be prepared for what I'm about to tell you. People here make-out, sleep, sit, and pee almost anywhere they want. This isn't even a joke. I'll go into stores and the workers are sleeping on the floor. I'll be driving on the bridge and people will be sleeping on the bridge sidewalk. Almost all sitting benches will have people making out on them. I went to the zoo for god's sake and saw people making out all over the place. Kids over here don't wear diapers so you just see streams of pee coming from babies that are being held over the ledge of houses. Today, I was walking down the road shopping and I nearly tripped over a peeing man!!! He was just crouched over peeing on the shopping sidewalk for the whole world to see. It's pretty gross and you have to wonder if the puddle that you're stepping into isn't really just pee water =(

Shopping over here is really weird too. If you walk into a store...the workers will follow you non-stop. I was in a shoe store and walking and talking to my mom about how I didn't like shoes because they looked cheap. I looked over and it was the freaking worker that was next to me! My mom was behind her! It's really uncomfortable too because you can't shop in peace. They just keep talking to you and urging you to buy things. And then if you go into a store where they don't talk to you but just follow you around you just feel like they're making sure that you're not stealing from them. Shopping over here isn't that fun =( I've gone shopping like...5 days now and I've only found one dress that I liked. They really like to go over the top over here. They will throw in big bows, laces, and rhinestones on anything. If you're coming here...just get custom clothes made. Don't expect the shopping to be fabulous. Yes it's cheap but you get what you pay for. Most of the clothes here are 5-7-9 material. Finally...the sizing here is a real downer. Usually I am a small or an extra small. Over here...I'm either a medium or large!

I'm sorry if I seem to be complaining a lot but I'm just having a really weird day. So, I have gotten bitten 8 times today by various insects including ants, mosquitoes, and some other bug that was green colored. The thing is...I'll be sitting in the same vicinity of my relatives and I'm the only one that gets bitten! I look like I have chicken pox or something right now.

This is the craziest thing that happened today. My uncle is a car driver for this one family. His job is actually pretty cool...he wakes up at 5 in the morning and drives the family to go play tennis. He gets to play tennis with them too! And then the family usually takes him out to lunch. And then he just drives them wherever else they want to go. He pretty much gets paid to be their friend/chauffeur. Well, today during his break my uncle came to pick me and my mom up to drop us off at my other aunt's house. I was curling my eyelashes in the backseat when all of a sudden I heard a huge "THUD". Next thing you know...a guys face was being smushed and pressed against my window. I was so freaked out (and still curling my eyelashes, mind you) that I jerked and pulled out five eyelashes in the eyelash curler! What had happened was a motorcycle bumped into another motorcycle. The second motorcycle ended up hitting into our car. Well, my uncle said that he didn't want to cause traffic and didn't have time to stop so he kept driving!!! The car ended up having a couple of small scratches and some small dents. And the two people that got into the accident were fine because they both stood up and started yelling at each other.

Okay, these are enough complaints for today. Oh, wait! Just one more...I cannot wait to eat Chipotle. It's all I can think about nowadays! Who's down to go eat there when I get back? We can get the chi-poops together!

Charles, I've decided that I'd do once crazy thing every couple of days for my blog. Today's thing that I did was poop at an unfamiliar house in Vietnam next to someone who was also using the bathroom! How is this possible? This house had two stalls side by side. You may not think that's crazy but I have a serious problem pooping in unfamiliar places. I just feel uneasy and scared the whole time that there is a peephole somewhere in the stall. Also, I hate pooping while someone is in the next stall over. It just makes me nervous because I don't want people to know what I'm doing/unleashing in the stall next to them! I was really uncomfortable but I did it anyway for you faithful fans. I know what you're thinking right now..."You're telling me that you never pooped at school while going to college?" Umm, yeah I did but I'd have to walk all the way to the engineering school where there are virtually NO GIRLS!!!

I just realized that the majority of my blogs are about pooping. =/ No more poop stories, I swear! Consider this my last one!